Co-dependance?

Since when did my happiness depend on a smile bestowed by one so ready to hand them around? Here's what's worse: since when has my sadness been triggered by a frowning look?

A stern glance given not even in my direction, but to those around me. A disapproving, secretive and unbearably suspicious look.

Is that all it takes?

What the hell is wrong with me? Did I learn absolutely nothing? Am I so inherently incapable of getting a fucking hint and learning a damned lesson?

I assumed I was intelligent. I suppose that old adage is true after all: ass/u/me.
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Greetings, earthlings,

Mona says hello!
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The Evolution Process

Am I as highly evolved as I like to believe?

When I walk down the street in my high heels, carrying a biodegradable cup of free trade coffee while furiously tapping away at the keys of my Blackberry, filled with a feeling of self-satisfaction for being SO wonderfully developed (at least more so than most of the masses)... what happens when I cross The Ex?

Here's what happens:

I drop the coffee, utter a swear word, duck behind my shades and that conveniently placed rack of postcards featuring scenes of our country undoubtedly shot by an amateur hand and pretend I don't exist.

I'm not saying that's what I did, simply what I believe I would do if I did find myself in that horribly embarrassing situation. You know the one... where The Ex looks normal and happily settled in with The Next.

A huge part of me wishes that I could casually look up from my trusted Mona (the Crackberry - YES, I named her), smile sagely and say hello before walking straight on. Hopefully in the direction of My Next, who would obviously look quite dashing as he usually does and more than eager to see me.

What was it Gwen Stefani - the Dalai Lama of Generation Y - sang? Something about you calling me by my new last name and us having friendly coffee with your new girlfriend?

I can say this though, I am definitely on board for that coffee... so long as I moved on first.

Take that, evolution... it's called a compromise. Live with it.

What Comes Before

People come and go. As they walk through the revolving doors of your life and consciousness, they tend to drop an article, say things to you and/or alter the reality of your realm in minor or major ways. Every person who crosses your line of fate affects the path of your life.

I believe that everything happens for a reason.

There is a reason why I spilt my milk this morning, but like the butterfly flapping it's wings in China, I'll only experience the repercussions of that act later. Maybe.

And so it is with this belief that I hold no resentment for Those Who Came Before. Had this person not been with one such as she, he might not have developed into this person whom I know today. In that same way, I suppose I was the One Before The One in my last relationship. I don't hold any grudges. Am I sad that it ended? I was.

Now? I believe that it wasn't meant to be and neither of us would have wanted to hold on to it for much longer. We had something special, but we were simply teaching each other about life and love to prepare for the next one.

So, shall we now all stop bothering about the Before? Let's concentrate on the Now. On ME. The After.